" The Ball Game "
The ball game was strange...some may have been ecstatic by the fame....But I for some reason remained the same!
It all began with a long train ride, in which had been a few years since my last travels on such, but we were ready. Immediately after we got on a young man decided I was the perfect stranger to confide in and that was fine with me. He began to tell me about how he writes poetry and also does impersonations and I was sure he would soon demonstrate one or the other. He looked like he had been through some trials because they were written all over his face and by his body language I could tell he was nervous speaking to me. He initially asked me for directions and I provided him with such. He then asked me if I would like to hear the poetry but being that it was a full train I opted to read it myself. Most people would have ignored him but I chose to listen and interact. Why not??? I’m no better than him nor anyone else here. So I opened my ears and my eyes and began to envision life differently. Even though the handwriting was extremely hard to decipher (this he told me) I managed to make out plenty of the words. The poem was one of sadness, sorrow, and doubt. This young man was having a battle with life and even though I am unable to recall the title I do remember his face after I read it. I too remember having this feeling of disdain in life for I am still struggling with this emotion myself. His writings were ones in which he was proud of his work yet he wanted an honest opinion. I was the one to deliver this honesty to him, but who am I to judge one's work indifferently. After reading his work my exact words were " This is better than you probably think young man ". He smiled and went on to do impersonations next.
Impersonation after impersonation. If he could have he would have done all that he knew. He did attempt to do Obama, Madea, and others but the train began to get even more crowded than before. Even though they were not all satisfactory they were still great attempts and I enjoyed his open-ness with me, a total stranger. He then began to open up even more. He told me about his aspirations and goals and I could definitely identify with him for I had and have the same. He told me about how he was with DCFS and how hard his life had been. I began to envision how my hard times had been. He went on to tell me about how his family didn’t think he'd graduate from high school and how he'd moved from Dallas to Chicago due to rough times. This young man told me how he wanted to go to college and become a great actor or writer. I then gave him the encouragement he needed. I asked him his age and he told me he was 20 years old. I asked him had he been looking into school and the words that came out of his mouth next would help both him and I. He said " Its too late for me to go to college now ". My mouth dropped and my heart became saddened. Too late for college? Too late for a new beginning at life? Too late to further your education and your 20??? Absurd.
I then opened up to him. Told him how I worked for a college and everyday individuals enroll who are twice his age. I shared my collegiate experiences with him and how there was a 60 year old man in one of my classes who was a genius to me. How this 60 year old man was very intellectual and intelligent beyond our years yet here he is obtaining a collegiate degree at his older age. The once nervous and timid body language turned into joy and smiles. He looked at me with one that exuded gratitude and a new found hope. The woman next to him smiled and nodded often. Maybe she too agreed with the advice I was giving. My mom for the first time I had noticed looked at me with admiration and I could tell how proud she was. The young man was now speechless and lost in thought. He smiled at me and stared even more now. I smiled and winked at him to ensure him that the feeling was mutual .For the first time in my life I felt like I had truly then began my mission here on earth. To help all people WANT to be and do better. For I am merely a lower class African American woman who has a great work ethic and just wants to be great.
Ding went the trains intercom and was followed by the words from the conductor " You are now at Addison ...Home of the Cubs”. I waved and told the young man that it was nice meeting him and to make sure that he puts forth that effort to be great one day. He smiled eagerly and assured me that he now he would look into college as soon as he could get to a computer. We got off the train and my mom high fived me and said, " Thank You for that, for he appreciated you talking to him. You are a good person and now lets go see this ball game". She and I hadn't been to a baseball game together EVER, hell we hadn’t been many places together but we were making strides towards getting to know each other better. We grabbed our Will Call tickets at the VIP window and proceeded towards the gate. Inside my mom was in awe at all the people and the vintage look of the stadium. The exact same reason I loved that place. We used the restroom and decided to get beers too..."This is cool" I said to her, "It sure is" was her reply. Even though I had once worked here for a year while in high school I was lost and couldn’t find our seats so I asked an attendant. The lady looked as if she was on her break or had somewhere to get to quickly yet she still escorted us and I appreciate her for all her great customer service. We walked down a very steep landing, up a couple stairs, and out to many lights with many people yelling and cheering. We were at the Ball Game.
We get to our seats and apparently someone was sitting in them. This someone turned out to be Jessie Jackson and to the left of him was the NBA Champ Shawn Marion. Even though these people are "Celebrities" I’m not one to be star struck so I considered them everyday people and we had just gotten star seating. My mom was overwhelmed by such a "great" figure of society that she had noticed him asking the man next to him if he could scoot over regardless if he was in our seats. My initial thought was how rude of him but whatever I wasn't going to ruin her nor my experience dealing nor thinking about the inconsideration of a man who was to be such a prominent figure of the black community. He looked at us as if we weren’t worthy of such great seats. I blew it off and just tried to have a good time regardless of the snooty attitude of the "uppity black folk" we were sitting in between. I mean anyway why should we care we have free seats, a great view, and beer to soothe the mind. There was a gentleman sitting next to me who was a friend of this NBA Star and he conversed with my mom and I on and off. He told me my mom would soon go and tell her Bingo friends how she kicked Jessie Jackson out her seat ... I laughed and Jessie was the last thing on my mind. I jokingly replied with " She doesn't play bingo". Laughed. Then said," I mean they are our seats right and we do have to sit right?" he just smiled and laughed it off but I was very serious. I mean who is Jessie Jackson to tell us to sit elsewhere when we have designated seats. Once again he's suppose to be FOR THE PEOPLE right??? I actually didn’t sense that at all and never have from his speeches either. I sense a man who longs for fame and shall get it by any means necessary even if it means lying to his kind to get them to trust him. This experience only assured me that my initial perception of him was true. He's one of THEM.
The night was beginning to near for us and we decided at the bottom of the 8th inning we would leave and head home for I did have to get to work and this was a stadium full of people. Before we got up the young man next to me who had been asking me questions and whispering to his "not like us friends" purchased my mom a beer. I declined it for her, why? Maybe I'll explain that in another writing, but as for now I had rather she didn’t. He insisted anyway and she obliged. I was slightly already bothered from hearing him speak of how he only dates women who are mixed or have long natural African American hair and they cant be broke either so i just let it be. I guess being that I am a 25 year old hardworking middle class woman with short natural hair I assumed he needed to express his preference so I didn’t get any ideas. But how and why would I??? I don’t know you, wont see you after this, and could really careless who you are man who has said he doesn’t drink beer but has downed 5 already...RIGHT.... So she finishes her beer we wave goodbye and said thank you to Shawn Marion's friend and headed for the exit.
Upon exiting I was having many mixed feelings and they were beginning to overwhelm me. I felt happy and proud to have my mother accompany me to a game when she initially declined and felt sorry for me because no one else wanted to go. I felt proud because this was maybe our 4th outing ever together and I’m 25years old. This assured me that the Lord had been listening to me over the years. I was happy that she enjoyed this experience and would never forget meeting these people that she considered "Celebrities”, but then that all changed. I began to feel hurt and ashamed. I felt saddened by the treatment of people who are the same color as myself but this experience would forever change my life and this story shall come from it as well....The entire train ride home I felt horrible when I should have been inspired but that was the least of my feelings. As I began to think about it more tears filled my eyes, I looked over and my mom kissed me on my jaw and said THANK YOU. The bad experience briefly left my being and I felt the temporary joy that my mom was feeling at that moment. Once I got home the ill feelings became more intense and I began to cry until my head hurt and eyes were swollen. I felt lost. My adventure began with me encouraging and uplifting a stranger and ended with me feeling as if my life was NOTHING. How could I allow this to eat me alive? How could I allow this to define who I am and if I was good enough in society? How could I allow this to cause me to question my mission here on this place we assume is Earth. I questioned whether or not I was the "different" one and they were the "normal" people or was it the other way around. I just know I was feeling a certain way and both my soul/being were distraught and altered. I started feeling as if I couldn’t win against life and why should I continue to strategically play if losing was my only outcome. I’ve lost many battles yet I have won many as well but this one was different. I sat on the floor and stared into the mirror for an unknown number of minutes but it was enough for me to come up with the thought to share this experience and grow from it ....The Ball Game changed my life and gave my mom a newfound hope to be happy at age 53. The Ball Game made me realize who I have grown to be and how I want to deliver this message in hopes of helping another stranger one day. Don’t allow your Ball Game to define you, continue playing until you ultimately have exhausted all winnings. Play your Ball Game...don’t let it play you.
Love and Peace from a regular individual in your society! I promise to remain humble always no matter the circumstances. Please remember me...that’s all I ask!
