Thoughts Of A Thinker: Goblin

*** Bad Milli....PRESENTS: The Untitled thoughts of a THINKER ***
on Tuesday, August 30, 2011 at 10:07am
" A Letter To The Goblin "
To Whom It May Concern:
Today's pain and hurt I have probably inflicted upon myself but I am unable to stop the assault in which my being feels is killing itself! Random thoughts of loneliness and horrifying dreams of always running away from something but what and or who? It’s always that reoccurring dream of myself being held captive or imprisoned somewhere, but I always find some way to escape. Every time. I run and run and the scenery is always different. Running for blocks and blocks, panting, crying, hoping for some sort of assistance but there is never anyone else there. Just me and whatever I am running from. It feels so real. I can feel the presence of another on my back hoping to catch me and rip me to shreds with no remorse. Fine hairs now stand on my arms at the mere thought of allowing it to get me. I notice how during this chase I do not hide either. Ever. Hiding myself gives me an uneasy feeling that when I do emerge from my hiding place the thing will be there awaiting me face to face. Sometimes I get away and as I am escaping I envision getting caught but it always feels as if they are right behind me and running just as fast. Running fast enough to almost extend an arm and grab me but they never do...until last night!
I was in some sort of basement with another hostage, but this being had no neither face nor spoke any words. Just merely a figure of darkness that was there but it kept me sane being that I knew I wasn't alone. It never spoke. I don't even remember if it moved or walked. I just remember it being there. A dark, shadowy, blackened apparition encouraging I get out of there and to not look back but without saying a word. I had a feeling that this dark figure had too been feeling the same emotional struggle as myself. There were very turbulent and disturbing vibes in that room. I am unable to even tell you if there was an actual room or if I was in some sort of dungeon for I can not recall the actual cage I was in. I call it a cage because that’s how I felt. Trapped. I remember feeling an emotion in which many call fear come over me yet I wasn't in any hurry to leave as I should have. Instead I wanted to know what and who could have possibly been there with me? Who has done this to US? If anyone was even there. Could this dark figure be a figment of my imagination? I mean I am in a dream so therefore I am already imagining but this felt real just as any other. The thought of revenge and how much I'd make it pay if the opportunity arose was embedded deep into my mind.

The last thing I remember is emerging from that pit of confinement and running.....Fast as I could but with no destination other than being free from wherever the hell I was. I can recall green pastures and the smell of water near. It was sunny out, the birds were chirping, and the grass was greener than I had ever seen it before. Beauty. But being that I was focused on running of course I had no time to dwell on the placid state that was surrounding me at that moment. My only worry was leaving from where I was and never looking back as the Goblin had informed me to do. It now had a name. I shall call it as such for it is much more suitable. I wasn’t afraid of it though.... I felt a sense of comfort and even though it did not speak I could feel the pain and horror it too was suffering from. But why hadn’t it run away as it had given me the vibe to do?

I wanted to pull the dark figure with me as I attempted to escape. It wouldn't budge. Did it feel it belonged there? How could it when it had given me the motivation to leave? I felt horrible and I begin to cry. " Please come with me I screamed...You can escape too" ...It didn't budge. Only gave me that feeling that if I didn’t leave and soon it would devour my being into minute little pieces of nothing and I would no longer exist. Peace, finally, but at this time that wasn't a bad thought either but I'd rather try my best to live I guess. No remembrance of how I actually got out but I do remember running up a few stairs and out to a concrete walk way. I ran and ran until I had reached a heavily wooded area. I figured maybe I could possibly hide there...I stood in front of a plethora of trees and just as I was attempting to make that move......IT GRABBED ME!
If you ever stumble upon this one day Goblin know that I appreciate your help, I admire your ability to have an effect on my emotions and you never said a word to me. I never got the chance to say thank you nor introduce myself. My name is Milli and it was nice to meet you.

Sincerely, The Lost One