Music, our struggles, and pain seem to what kept us together!
As I sat for hours trying to take my mind off all of the strife that I was enduring I decided to pick myself up by watching the Netflix series Orange Is the New Black. As I provide my undivided attention into this amazing series all of the emotions that I was eluding suddenly reappeared. Prior to forcing my attention upon something else tears were all I could muster but they were now accompanied by laughter and a deeper sadness. As they began to tell stories pertaining to their lives and how they ended up in jail I immediately starting to realize that it was I preventing my own happiness. I was doing so by not allowing myself to just live. Instead, I sat on the couch crying my heart out, over thinking, and eating NutriGrain bars as if they were going to expire with the next few minutes. It took a few days for me to realize that as I was losing precious time being devastated over something that was apparently not meant to last..... life was still in motion. Heartbreak seems to stop everything besides time. So here I am feeling renewed and semi at peace but frustrated that I allowed another to steal my happiness. How could I have allowed another to take what they did not provide? I am to fault here. So, I initially asked what do you do when you are sad and want to cry but you only know that it will make you feel worse?
Cry then dust yourself off and remember that somewhere that person is not crying nor hurting over you. If they were......then they would never have put you in that position in the first place. As I dust myself off, rearrange my life back to being focused only on me, and continue to live the life that I have been blessed with; I vow to have better judgement if there is a next time that "lust" decides to present itself as "love".
Al Green's, "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" ,softly plays in the background and I too use to wonder this.
(to be continued)
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