Day 2 : The Secret #Meditation #Self #Envisioning

In My Feelings: As Usual

"Chipped tooth like fab ... without that degree I'd still be bad"
Glad to say even though I've been having slight turmoil and experiencing a few unexpected changes...life is always great. I'm alive,  breathing, and finding peace that was lost....but I just want to get back to the music. Never will I ever allow another to stop my dream...sighs. Trying to bounce back after losing so much. Again.

To My Angels: Desiree and George

A year ago today I learned that I would never hug or hear my mom's voice again because she had gone to meet her maker. I was sure that today would be very difficult for me and as it has been somewhat ....I can accept it. I'm happy that she can now be with my father and other friends and family. Time awaits no one..believe me. I left Chicago for NY and never saw her again until I was choosing caskets. Rest in Heaven to my angels. #blessedtho #OnlyChildShit #thelîk #BadMilli

In My feelings : As Usual

                                                                 *** Day 1 ***
            "EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted .. accept that fact .. it's true."



Thank God for my sense of self...Change is here and it feels good. After watching the Secret last night im sure it's time for a mental cleanse. Then and only then shall I make it Reign. Time to feel like that in which I'm working so hard to obtain. Success. Live in the feeling until you get what you are envisioning. #HaitusTime #millibthinking #thelîk

The Secret: "EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted .. accept that fact .. it's true." ...........
Life can and should be phenomenal .. and it will be when you consciously apply the Law of Attraction.
Thank you Lord for happiness!

In My Feelings: As Usual

At the end of the day. I am human. Heavily flawed but full of ambition and potential. I don't need a facade nor make up. I wear weave but so what. Underneath is a full head of au naturale that's just as kinky and curly as my ancestors hair. Freckles invade my face's space and my thoughts suffocate the little freedom I have left. Trials and tribulations have left me paranoid and overly cautious. But they've kept me alive. Don't access me by my skin color because my story is darker than night. I've emerged out of the worst storm alive so I dare not give up now. I've learned to embrace that in which makes me different...Because I have no problem being me. #inthought #thelîk #thelawdmadethis

Thoughts Of A Thinker : ILL Feelings

" ILL Feelings"

"It's not until I defy all that they expected and become a complete asshole that they realize the rejection" 

I appreciate the true intentional ill feelings of me...I had a feeling something was different but I had no clue what it could be. It was like a demon in disguise on some 666 shit. Fortunately, it was in the form of a human being. What could I have done to make one feel such a way? I merely tried to help the best way I knew possible and wasn't even getting paid ....Still I stayed. Being the person that I am and having a heart of precious gold these Ill Feelings I could no longer hold. So I emailed and sent a 2 page letter and witnessed the real unfold. No reason to play the blame game and sound lame about what did it or how. Yet I am still the one in the end made out to be such a complete bitch. But that’s LIFE without a doubt.

I appreciate the true intentional ill feelings of me.... At least they had finally come out in the open for once. I had noticed them before but I like to let people be who they are. Who would have known that this inside hatred would soon manifest into a never ending night of truth. And I found out the truth that day and confronted that fucking demon anyway. I poked it with a pitch fork and exposed its true identity. I had no fear in my heart none what so ever. So I put those horrible feelings in a corner and made it known that I was very aware. Aware of the separation of feelings and lack of respect that were oh so blatant yet I continuously ignored. I’m not even sure why I let it all blow over until now but no more fronting. No more hunting for the truth. No more pretending to be something we are not. No more fucking keys without locks. Everything is clear now so I’ve stopped asking why and how! No disrespect. No hard feelings just myself coming to grip with the terms of such jealousy, maybe. So I went home and sat ...Thinking about all the possible ways I could approach this situation lightly. Then I started to get even more mad. I ranted on the phone for hours about the pro's and con's and if I was some how apart of this fake friendship I now call treason.

I appreciate the true intentional ill feelings of me....So here I sit ....Still envisioning that night and how everything went down and it still bothers my soul until this day. Here I am putting these random thoughts on paper to release my disgust. I mean who needs friends anyway huh. Especially when you’re an only child but that sounds absurd to most people. I'd rather not sit for hours and confide in myself. I'd rather not speak the ill words of dislike upon one's soul so I’d like to bring this issue to a close. I can only trust myself and even at times I question her motives too. Whether they are good or bad is up to you. It’s a world full of evil beings, dealings, and killings and I am here so these are my feelings. I express them sometimes but not often for my being is afraid of letting someone in again. Matching tattoos, fun nights looking cute with plenty of booze. Yet why do I feel so misused? I guess no one appreciates the nice, polite , and caring side of me. Its not until I defy all that they expected and become a complete asshole that they realize the rejection. So I sit here and write as " Pissed Off " plays in the background and this Isn’t even me. My normal state wants to be happy and alive. But today my ILL FEELINGS have overcome and have won this battle. I suggest I stop here to maintain my sanity and release this thought from my brain for you and HER to read someday. Friends do not exist and the more I type I get pissed. So I shall depart with the thought that we are all entitled to act as we please. Just hope one day it isn’t the enemy that you shall need!

New Music: New Artist

New Chicago Artist

DLow- The King Of Bop

Being that I am from the Chi I always try to represent for the city that I was born in as well as support any talent that may arise. I was watching 106&Park yesterday and this young man had the audience bopping (no pun intended) all over the stage. Focused and eager to know where this DLow was from I immediately realized he was from my hometown from his dance moves. Glued to the screen as two dancers killed the DLow Shuffle I felt proud to be from the city that's always negatively portrayed. Featuring my favorite Chicago dancer, Lil Kemo; this video is energetic, creative and shows that "Chiraq" has plenty if talent. R.Kelly, Kanye, and Twista have influenced many of us that truly love to make music and now I am happy to see new talent on deck. Chicago breeds greatness, visionaries, artists, Presidents, rappers, singers, dancers, and more..... Not everything is bang bang! Even though I love that sh!t like I love August Alina.

 That's another story...enjoy! A piece of my city from me to you.

In My Feelings : As Usual

*** Always In Thought *** ........

Too much hurt, not enough happiness. Too much poverty, not enough stability. Too many boys, not enough men. Too many vixens, not enough women. Too many thugs, not enough survivors. Too many lies, not enough real. Too many facades, not enough self love. Too many jungles, not enough warriors. Too many struggles, not enough prayer. ‪#‎AliveAndThriving‬ ‪#‎WatchMeWork‬ ‪#‎WorkTeam

TERRIBLE NEWS Y'all . . . One Of The Most IMPORTANT DJs . . . In The History Of BLACK MUSIC . . . Just PASSED AWAY!!! - MediaTakeOut.com™ 2014

TERRIBLE NEWS Y'all . . . One Of The Most IMPORTANT DJs . . . In The History Of BLACK MUSIC . . . Just PASSED AWAY!!! - MediaTakeOut.com™ 2014

 

 

Live On DJ Frankie Knuckles

It's always hard to say goodbye to our loved ones so I would first and foremost like to give my condolences to the family of DJ Frankie Knuckles.... Also may he Rest In Heaven and his family be comforted in their time of need. As a fellow Chicagoan and listener of House Music I felt it was only right that I pay respects to a Chicago Legend. My mother, aunties, and father use to step and dance to his music all the time and they were so excited for the House Music Parties because of course DJ Frankie Knuckles music would have it rocking.

" Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God "

IT'S A BATTLE!!! Jay Z Comes For DRAKE In New Song . . . Sounds Like Jay Is A LIL IN HIS FEELINGS . . . After Drake AND HIS GAL Rihanna!!! - MediaTakeOut.com™ 2014

IT'S A BATTLE!!! Jay Z Comes For DRAKE In New Song . . . Sounds Like Jay Is A LIL IN HIS FEELINGS . . . After Drake AND HIS GAL Rihanna!!! - MediaTakeOut.com™ 2014

Hmmmm..... so a real battle of the Best Male Hip Hop Artist emerges and this may be a very good one. I wouldn't insinuate that this has anything to do with my boo Rihanna but hey you never know in the world of the rich, famous, I do whateva I want. LOL!!! Being that I try to remain neutral in a situations I am siding with both artists here. Drizzy told Rolling Stone Magazine, "It's like Hov can't drop bars these days without at least four art references . . . I think the whole Rap/art world thing is getting kind of corny." Now this could be taken as merely his opinion/perspective as a fellow artists, who is topping charts as well, or he could have been initiating a friendly battle. Either way Jay Z responded with fire over Drake's "We Made It" and featured the eclectic Jay Electronica. Yes, Jay Electronica dropped knowledge and wisdom for us but Jay Z brought that NIGGA I MADE IT out he hood, I have that mogul wealth, and I shall talk of Picasso's because I probably own one or another just as valuable. I'm very eager to see how this plays out. I will definitely keep you all informed as I stay tuned to the next "Control" beef.

Milli

Thoughts Of A Thinker: Pink Clouds

MY BIRTH.... I never asked to be here

MY STRUGGLES .... I've taken them head on ....ALONE

MY FAITH ..... This I will NEVER lose

MY BEING.....Just wants to be happy and pleasant

MY LIFE ..... Feels like its just beginning then ending

I AM LOST IN " PINK CLOUDS"

I sat.....in total silence......glaring at the window.....wondering if there's anyone who feels as I do...Alone....then I discovered PINK CLOUDS!





THINKING is something that I do a lot of and at any given time through out the day. There doesn't have to be some sort of action,discussion,conversation,or an incident that causes this reaction. I AM TRULY A THINKER. My thoughts are overwhelming and encompass a vast area of topics. Lately, I have been evaluating the people in my life and one would think since I don't have many people this should be easy. Unfortunately, it's not a walk in the park nor a stroll on the beach. It's a mind boggling process that also involves emotions and me analyzing my actions and those I chose to let into my atmosphere of PINK CLOUDS.



It is only when I am immersed in PINK CLOUDS that I truly feel FREE and safe from this world's coldness. I feel as if I can accomplish anything and defeat any obstacle. Vindictive individuals and their malicious ways do not exist to me because I am hovering over a cloud of positivity and Fuck You's....They make me feel better ya know. As I sit and stare at the window, I realize that there is a huge world out there and someone would love to share that space with me. I always say that I came in this world alone , so having no one shouldn't matter. But it does. Who wants to be alone? Whats even sadder is when you begin to accept the loneliness because this is the only place you feel safe. If you trust no one, no one can deceive you....... These are my PINK CLOUDS.



They are filled with words such as beautiful, awesome, love, acceptance, originality, faith and RESPECT! It is then when I am truly engulfed in thought ... I close my eyes and imagine LIFE WITHOUT STRUGGLE. PEOPLE who respect my being and thoughts. THOSE who love my character because it is sufficient and strong. BIRTH baffles me because I never asked to be here, yet I appreciate it. I've endured many STRUGGLES and have overcome them yet they have made me who I am. My FAITH is something that I could never lose because It has kept me alive. My BEING is one that cares too much, doesn't LOVE enough, and just wants to help better society. LIFE is what it is.....I don't think it's what u make it though...More like how you decipher the PINK CLOUDS that you are presented with!

Love....Cherish......and Believe!


*** I'm presently here working on my future ***

In My Feelings: As Usual

I don't smile often because I'm not really sure what happiness feels like. Most days are spent praying for peace and serenity, missing my parents, self improving, and succeeding that I'm usually mentally drained. My journey can only get easier as I have already battled my toughest battles. The destruction is already here.... But the victory... is on its way my nigga... #TheUnveiling #OnlyChildShit #FukYoHappyFamily #freckledbeast

Check out this great MSN video - Mesmerizing treadmill dance

Check out this great MSN video - Mesmerizing treadmill dance

New Track from Harlem's only Trap Rap Gxd J.O featuring Bad Milli . Like, love, support, and keep ya ears open for more from WorkTeam ...

http://soundcloud.com/jay-ruiz-2/im-a-star

Thoughts Of A Thinker: Deprivations

Deprivations

My deprivations have motivated my greatness............
I am ready for all my worries to be weightless.....
To walk upon white sand with HIM and feel ageless....
These are my motivations....
Fancy things and name brand jeans are not important to me.....
I'd rather have success than FAME but hey that's just me......
No JORDANS, True Religion shit or over priced bullshit for me......
I'd rather rock exclusive joints that most of us never see.....
I use to wish I had the family you see on TV.......
But I did have a mother and father so that was good at least.....
Even though I missed a little she taught me the most important things.....
How to build a great work ethic and get to where I wanted to be....
My dad was a really great man and I appreciate his presence....
Even though he has gone to heaven I still send him my blessings.....
Provided for his family and ensured we were great...
I'll never forget that or you George McNeal we straight....
Never had a big ole house or the place with the big white gate.....
But that's fine because I have time left only I can determine my fate.....
I use to feel like I had to be in a rush and when it came to LIVING I was running late....
but as I've grown and become more mature...I figure good things come to those who wait.....
A true friend is something I have been missing and Its cool cause shit happens.....
I use to call her my BFF now I add the EX before I talk about her to keep from snapping.....
Can't believe folks played me like that and didn't bother to call at all.....
but that's ok cause my guards up now watch this player not drop the ball....
I haven't seen the beautiful lights of MIA, nor LA, or traveled outside of the USA......
Hopefully I gain some financial wealth and see Germany or Africa one day......
First I need a passport, some dough and a valid reason to get away......
But yet I have plenty reasons why but I've become comfortable and let the thought stray.....
My deprivations have motivated my greatness and I am now at peace with this world....
Guess I should've listened when they said everything that glitters ain't gold..and those that shine ain't pearl's....
Happiness is what I'm searching for and I can't find it because I'm depriving myself.....
Guess I should take my own advice and apply these thoughts as HELP!
My deprivations have motivated my greatness and I'll be ok once I drill this in my head......
As I like to say I'm truly a THINKER my most prolific thoughts come to me before bed....
When it's all said and done I hope they remember me when I'm spiritually here but literally dead....
As the strong African American Woman who never followed but yes she always led.


** I'm presently here working on my future ...Be blessed

In My Feelings: As Usual

                                                     

                                                       ***Fighting This Battle ***



Instead of blaming God or someone else for the emptiness I feel from my parents being gone, them never having the ability to meet my children one day ( when Im over 30 lol), not attending my wedding if ever married, them getting to witness me TAKE this success, and being an only child..... I sucked it up and dare not blame life for leaving me here alone. The ability to live my life as I please, happily, and PAID is on its way..... priceless! ‪#‎KeepingTheFaith‬

" These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold...." - 1Peter 1:7